Wish You Were Here

[Max452]

Romulus stared at the items on his table wondering if these objects would help Tenel Ka remember who she was. It had been a few weeks since she had lost her memory and Tristan and Teodora did their best to help the Queen Mother understand who she was and what she did. Romulus did his best as well, but he had a feeling that there approach wasn't enough. This whole time, she had been assaulted with tales about her life as Queen and as a Princess, and only a few tidbits of who she actually was. Not that Tristan and Teodora didn't fill her in on those things, but, Rom wanted to give Tenel Ka a break. He could only imagine her stress and confusion. Stuffing the objects inside a knapsack, Romulus darted over to Tenel Ka, having visited her at least once a day since he found her near a lulling stream.

It didn't take long for the young Ranger to reach Tenel Ka's tent. Her trusted guards were always nearby, and this day was no exception.
"Romulus." One of the guards gave him a nod. Romulus returned the gesture, grateful that her guards now trusted him and were now quite use to his visits, even though they knew nothing about Tenel Ka's memory loss. Tristan mad sure of that. Rumor had it though, that the young Queen Mother was feeling ill and needed all the time she could to rest and study.

Giving a light knock on the tent pole, Romulus sought entrance to see Tenel Ka. "Tenel Ka, its me, Romulus. May I come in for a visit?" He called out, ignoring some of the stares he received from the guards whenever he referred to their Queen without her proper title.

***
Tristan stared at the map in front of him as he studied the best way to help the Varden storm into Uru'baen. Dark rings were visible under his eyes, indicating the lack of sleep the Prince received, were the only signs of his exhaustion and determination to fulfill his duties. Since Tenel Ka's memory loss, Tristan had taken up her responsibilites, posing as if they were her own personal directions. He had informed Lady Nasuada of their circumstance and had made her swear not to divulge it to anyone else. He had hoped that Angela the Herbalist could help, but that elusive woman didn't give them a straight emerald of an answer! Frustated and exhausted, Tristan was force to age beyond his years as he did his best to protect and support his people and Queen. "How did you ever manage it, cousin?" Tristan muttered to himself as he concoted a stragety, his eyes flickered over to the tent canvas that separated his tent from his cousin's. He really missed her comforting presence. "I really wish you were here right now."

[Tismri]

She stared across the tent, her eyes tracing invisible patterns across the blank surface as she attempted to remember who she was. She was being assaulted day after day with tales of her life as a child; tales which could just as well belong to someone else. Whenever they mentioned people who were not present, she tried to conjure up a picture in her mind of what this person might look like, but she could never be certain exactly.
She felt it was a hopeless cause. In the weeks since she could first remember anything, she had not been able to recall anything of her life before.
She looked up when Romulus entered the tent. Normally, she would smile when she saw him. Despite everyone proving more than trustworthy to her, Rom made her feel most comfortable, and reassured. Right now, however, her eyes remained blank as she stared at him, a tinge of despair in her expression.
"How can I keep receiving so much information, and yet my mind continue to feel so completely empty?" she asked him.

[Max452]

The smile Romulus had on his face grew somber at Tenel Ka's frustration. He placed his knapsack down and sat in a chair next to her. "Give it some time, Tenel Ka." Rom replied in his best comforting tone. "I know you'll get your memory back." He tried to assure her as his heart sped up from their close proximity; he could never get use to her wonderous presence. He stared at her for a moment, an aimiable smile on his face, fascinated with her beauty.

Collecting himself, he cleared his throat once he realized his stares. Pushing aside his own need for her, he took out the items in his pack. "I thought maybe these things could help you remember." He told her tenderly. "Maybe hearing stories isn't enough; I've heard that some people remember things when they touch or see something." He explained to her as he presented two books to her, and a small stone slab. "Um, you let me borrow these books after our first hunting trip together. They're about Ismalia. You described it so well to me, that i just wished that I could see it...and that's when you let me borrow these." He showed the books to her. "One's about Ismalia and has pictures about it. The other..." He placed this book atop the other, "are fairy tales from your country. You mentioned that one of them is your favorite, pehaps we can read it together?" He asked hopefully, "that may spark something?" He suggested before turning a bit red when he presented the stone slab. "Um...this, is um, a fairth....its a picture that I...um, I recalled when we went hunting...I uh, thought it might help." He handed it to her, his hand shaking a bit from his own nerves.

The fairth was a picture of Tenel Ka and Romulus, just sitting by Caedus. Romulus held a loving smile as he stared at a laughing Tenel Ka. Caedus was formidable as always, as he laid near his bond, smoke streaming out of his nostrils. What was embarressing for Romulus, wasn't the actual memory, but what the image conveyed. He had conveyed his whole heart in replicating the scene of their first hunt together, especially upon Tenel Ka's image. In it, he had displayed her compassionate, yet fiery storm eyes that always seemed elegant and determined. She held herself with grace and beauty as her image showed her in a modest laugh. The colors were blended neatly and modestly, but an interesting glow seemed to surround Tenel Ka's image, as if presenting her as a divine being in the presence of mere mortals. Yet, even with her divinity, she seemed perfectly relaxed and herself, which was what Rom had treasured the most on that trip.

"Um, I hope you like it." Rom spoke again. "Its okay if you don't remember it...I just thought you might like something." He shrugged, looking at his boots in a sheepish manner.

[Tismri]

She smiled as Romulus explained his ideas to her. Having her mind so blank and empty was maddening, but no matter what everyone did, nothing sparked a memory in her. They could all very bell be describing a stranger to her.
She looked down at the fairth he showed her. He'd explained some time ago about how it was made. The scene on it was totally unfamiliar to her. It depicted her, with Rom as well as the dragon, Caedus. Every time she thought of the dragon, she felt a stab of guilt because she felt that he above every other should be one she remembered. Out of habit, she flexed her hand. Her blank hand, completely devoid of the silvery mark described by others to signify the bond between a dragon and Rider. Its absence had been the first and only thing to really make her doubt who she was. Whatever had erased her memory had also severed the strange connection she had with Caedus, and from the sorrow she had sensed from the creature, it pained him beyond what anything should suffer.
In the picture, Rom looked much the same as he did now. Bright, wise, handsome. The man who had found her, who had been the most gentle and kind, and she felt he would never give up helping her remember who she was. In fact, he hardly did himself justice. He made himself seem insignificant. Right now, he was her entire world.
When she looked at the image that represented herself, she felt like that wasn't what she was seeing. The features were the same, true enough, but the image seemed to present her as something almost other-worldly. Something above all others. And even if she didn't know anything else, she knew this; she was only human, and she was flawed and imperfect.
"It...it is very pretty," she told Rom. "I only wish I could recall the occasion." She stared at it a moment longer, hoping that just by looking at it hard enough, the memory would present itself. But her mind remained empty. She sighed and looked away, instead eyeing the two books he had brought to her.
"Perhaps a fairy tale from my childhood would help..." she said. She took the book with pictures of Ismalia and opened it. She was momentarily breathless at the images inside. The scenery was so beautiful that she reached out and touched the page. She felt that if she were to ever see it in person, she would never want to leave. It would feel like home, more so than the Varden camp did. But still, staring at the page was like seeing it for the first time.

[Max452]

Romulus glanced up from his boots as Tenel spoke about the fairth. He gave her a reassuring smile, even though his heart saddened upon hearing no recollection from her. He wasn't sure if he should have felt glad or sad for her not recognizing the depth of how he felt for her once she gazed at the picture. Perhaps it was better this way. He didn't want to be a distraction for her, and quite honestly, he realized, she would never be destined to be with a commoner as himself; she deserved so much more. "It will come in time, Tenel Ka. You need not fret about it so much, I think." He told her. "You just need to take care of yourself right now." His amber eyes watched as she picked up the book of fairy tales. He smiled as she seemed awed by the images. "I was hoping, maybe, one day, I could come and visit you in Ismalia, and maybe, once you are settled, you can show me your favorite sites." He suggested. His eyes glanced back to her hand that once held the gedwey ignasia, having spotted how she flexed it, almost willing it to reappear, along with her memories. He had no idea how much pain Caedus was going through. His eyes glanced over to the dark shadow that loomed beside the tent. The ever watchful dragon. The one that was perhaps hurting more than anyone. He held the memories and her identity, but Tenel Ka, no longer did.

Romulus absently wondered if Angela would be stopping by or something! He was briefly annoyed that the herblist gave her usual cryptic answers and sauntered off somewhere. He could recall Tristan raving like a madman at the woman for not being helpful. "Which would you like to read?" He asked her, and then thought of something. "Would you like to read it outside with Caedus? Maybe that might feel familiar? I'm sure he would like to see you today." He asked her, hoping that they may redevelop their lost bond, even if they could not regain her memories.

OOC: You have me highly curious and intrigued on what happened to Tenel Ka! I really wondered how she's going to get her memory back, or if this is even Tenel Ka...*eyes you suspiciously* and where is Angela! You want to be her since you kinda know your head better than Trinn and I? lol

[Tismri]

She nodded slowly at Rom's suggestion. She couldn't deny that there was some sort of connection between her and the dragon, although it was difficult for her to trust him. The first time she saw him, she was scared out of her wits, but somehow managed to hold her ground as everything was explained to her. Since then, she had grown more comfortable around him, although she still had difficulty at times seeing him as the complex person he was. She followed Rom slowly outside.
"Romulus..." she said. "How...do you know how I lost my arm?" It was a question that had been pressing on her for as long as she could remember. Although she could easily do everything she needed with one hand from obvious practice, she occasionally caught herself trying to use her left hand for something, only to find it not there. This told her she at least used to have it, but some sort of accident happened. She'd almost asked Tristan about it, but he was so busy all the time, she didn't want to bother him with her trivial matters.

[Max452]

Romulus was pleased that Tenel Ka agreed to come outside to see Caedus. That would please the dragon was the thought that Rom encountered. Carefully leading Tenel Ka outside, Romulus approached the mighty dragon. "Caedus, how are you doing today? I thought that Tenel Ka and I would join you today for some reading. Is that all right?" He asked Caedus, being as tender as possible to the dragon's emotions. He had no idea what the dragon was feeling, now that his bond was severed with his Rider. He had heard that some Riders and/or dragons would go mad from the loss of their companion. Rom wondered how much more pain it was to have your companion, but to not have them at the same time.

As he was thinking, Rom placed two chairs comfortably outside next to the dragon. He spotted Tenel Ka's everpresent guards, who were eyeing her with some concern. They were merely told that she was ill and needed rest. Tristan had ordered them to stay nearby, but to not ask too many questions, as to not weary the Queen. Romulus was finishing his set up when he heard Tenel Ka's question. He sighed. The question was bound to come up. He was surprised that Tristan never explained it to her.

"I'm not surprised that Tristan didn't mention anything." Romulus knew only the general happenings of her missing arm, as neither Tenel Ka or Tristan mentioned anything. Romulus never cared that she didn't have her left hand, as she managed quite well at it, so he never asked her, but the thought did come to his mind once and awhile.However, he did manage to get some pieces of the story from random conversations he would have or overhear from the Ismalians. "All I know of it, is that it was an accident and it was the cause for Tristan to be banished for nearly a decade. Its a sore topic that I find would be better appropriate if you ask him, although, I don't think he'll mind it." Rom explained as he gazed into her grey eyes. "I don't think you ever harbored any hate for it or to Tristan; you two are pretty close." He drifted his eyes away from her's, feeling a bit embarrassed for staring at her too closely. "You could even ask Caedus. He knows about it more than I do." He turn to look at the great dragon.

[Tismri]

She sat down in the chair Rom placed for her, her eyes drifting over to the dragon. Their eyes met, and though there was a sense of familiarity between them now, she still felt as if they were strangers. Caedus never took his eyes from her when she was in sight, and he would sometimes let out a low whine, wishing she would remember him.
She sighed in frustration as Rom was unable to explain her missing arm to her. It was just gone...like her memories. When he suggested asking Caedus, she looked curiously at the dragon.
"Caedus..." she said uncertainly. She was unused to the dragon's way of communicating through her mind. "Did I ever tell you how I lost my arm?" she asked. Caedus shuffled a bit.
You did...I can show you the memory as you showed it to me. She nodded quickly. Maybe if he gave her a memory back, more would come. In her mind, she was a child, playing with Tristan in a great crystal courtyard. They were playing with sharpened swords. Then Tristan misstepped and his blade swung right into her arm, severing it completely. She watched the scene play out, feeling as if she were living it. But still, even after it was shown, she had no recollection of the actual event, and it could just as well have happened to someone else.
She sat back, a little disturbed by the memory. "Thank you, Caedus," she said, glancing down at her lap. Her right hand curled into a fist and she pounded it into the chair.
"Why can't I remember anything?!" she asked no one in particular, attempting to keep her voice down because she knew Tristan and the others didn't want everyone to know her predicament.

[Max452]

Romulus smiled as Caedus and Tenel Ka exchanged words and even a memory. He hoped that would be helpful to Tenel Ka, but her reaction revealed otherwise. He gave her a sympathetic expression as she slammed her fist and exclaimed her frustration. His eyes snapped over to the guards briefly, as they were watching her like a hawk, but they seemed to not have heard the young Queen's words.
"Memories come in time, Tenel Ka. I told you not to worry too much about it; it'll just stress you more if you try to force them to come." He desperatly wanted to reach out and comfort her, but under the stern gazed of her guards, he refrained. "Just trust your heart. I firmly believe that your heart remembers, but your mind does not, so just follow your heart. You're good at that." He produced a grin. "And besides, its better to make new memories than try to relive old ones--"

"Romulus, may I have a word with you?" Tristan's voice echoed over, causing the guards to scramble to look more presentable as the young Prince appeared from his tent.
Romulus glanced upward at Tristan, who seemed irritated or stressed, or perhaps both. "I'll be back." Rom gently told Tenel Ka. "Just think about what I said, okay? Don't worry too much. You're far too pretty to stress." He told her honestly as he gently placed a comforting hand on her's before walking a bit away to Tristan.

"What's the matter?" Romulus asked.
"I know you mean well, Romulus, but you can't go about telling my cousin those words." Tristan told him quietly, not wanting anyone to eavesdrop.
"What do you mean? I speak only what I think is true. She shouldn't stress herself over her memories."
Tristan sighed, revealing some dark bags under his eyes. "Romulus, Tenel Ka is a Queen. She has responsibilities to perform. She needs to remember who she is." His voice grew quieter. "If word gets out that she can't remember herself, the kingdom is in peril."
"I understand that--"
"No you don't!" Tristan hissed out, but realized his mistake. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that...its just, you don't know our family, Rom. My cousin needs to regain her memories. And, I know you mean well, but, you really are just distracting her."
Rom shuffled in his spot, a bit irate. "What do you mean I'm a distraction? You can't go about feeding her things she can't remember like a mother trying to force her child to eat. It won't work."
"We have to try something! Her duties as a Queen takes precedence over everything else, Rom! Even...even her happiness sometimes...I hate to admit that, but I realize now how important her responsibililites are, and she needs to at least remember some things."
"What are you asking me to do?" Rom nearly growled out. He knew Tristan was half right. Tenel Ka was Queen and needed to act as such...she shouldn't be spending her time with a commoner. But at the same time, Rom knew that he wouldn't work well if they kept attacking her with things she didn't know.
"To just back off a bit. She needs to focus on relearning her duties...just enough so everyone can see their Queen is there, and in the mean time, I'm going to try and figure out how to free her of whatever magic that claimed her."
"You think magic did this?"
"How else can you explain her lack of memories...or even her severed bond with Caedus? It has to be magic...maybe a family member did this...I don't know, but I need to figure out what I can do to get my cousin back."
Rom nodded, but didn't like the idea of him out of the picture. His heart ached whenever he wasn't around Tenel Ka. Perhaps he was a bit selfish. "I don't know if I can stay away, Tristan." Rom honestly told him.
"Just try...and maybe, when this is all over, you can make my cousin happy again." Tristan managed a smile. Rom's eyes studied the prince. Did Tristan know how he felt for Tenel Ka?
"I can't promise anything."
"You have to, Romulus, or I am afraid, that I will have to make you." Tristan's voice reitarted the importance of Tenel Ka's duties.
"Is that a threat, Tristan?"
"No, a friendly advice." With those final words, Tristan took his leave and decided to find Teodora.

Romulus returned to his seat next to Tenel Ka, pondering over the Prince's words. He did not like it one bit, but a part of him knew that much that was conversed was true. But how to stay away for the one thing his heart ached for? Rom tried to smile as he returned to Tenel Ka. "So, um, did you figure out a story you wanted to read?" He asked her, trying to reclaim his calm composure.