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Post by Tismri on Aug 28, 2012 0:06:03 GMT -5
She sat alone in the Surdan inn, drumming the fingers of her single hand against the table as she remained in deep thought. She had decided to start calling herself Myst, because of how she was still a mystery to herself and others. After a month or so of it, the name sorta stuck, and it felt right to her somehow. Or maybe she was just used to it. But either way, Myst the bounty hunter felt like a much more suitable position to her than Tenel Ka the queen. Looking after herself felt like a much easier choice and a better one.
Thoughts of Tristan and Teodora, of Caedus and Romulus, drifted across her mind. They had been such comfort and misery to her the entire time she was with them. They made her feel as if she wasn't alone in the world, but at the same time they pressured her to be something she didn't know how to be. Grinding her teeth, she attempted to throw the memories of them from her mind and try to start over entirely new.
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Post by Max452 on Aug 28, 2012 22:19:18 GMT -5
Two weeks ago:
"She's missing?" Romulus eyes blinked over the pool of water, trying to process Tristan's words.
"Yes, along with the Emeralds...it looks like she took them with her." Tristan's image shimmered with the water as the two men were communicating through scrying. "We've tried looking for her for weeks now, but haven't come up with anything; she covered her tracks well."
Romulus sighed. Tenel Ka, what are you thinking? The Ranger thought to himself as he pondered on the next action.
"I know we've been pushing her hard to remember...and I know I'm the main attacker..so it doesn't surprise me that she got fed up and left." Tristan's voice was sad and filled with guilt.
"She always did like to go against what was expected of her." Rom gave a soft smile. "She just need some time, Tristan. You know her. She just needs to understand her situation. I would try looking toward Surda; it doesn't make sense for her to go North when the Varden are heading that way. She'll want to run as far away from them as she can."
Tristan listened calmly as he scratched his chin. "I know. That was what I was thinking. I would go look for her myself, but my duties here are overwhelming, especially with trying to keep Tenel Ka's disappearance quiet! You have no idea how the army will react once they find out..." Tristan let out an exasperated sigh. "Agh! If she didn't have anmesia I swear I would ring her neck for doing this to me!"
"Calm yourself, Tristan. This doesn't help Tenel Ka. What do you wish me to do?" Romulus asked, finally getting to the point.
"Um, well," Tristan shuffled a bit, "I know we've had our differences when coming to Tenel Ka, but, I've always known you've had her best interest at heart. Plus, your tracking skills are exceptional...and when I spoke with Lady Nasuada, which may I add, she wasn't too keen on letting your whereabouts known, she informed me where you went."
"You want me to find her." Romulus concluded, his eyes flickering behind him for a moment. He was still trying to qwell the small rebellions that were popping up in his estate.
"You're the best, Rom...and, despite my reservations, you're the only one that can get through her. So please, find my cousin and bring her home." Tristan pleaded, which impressed Romulus.
"You know I would have gone even if you didn't ask me." Rom stated with seriousness.
"I know. I just thought it might help if you knew we were supportive." A sincere smile formed on the Prince's face.
"Thank you. There are some arrangements I have to deal with, but I will set off immediately."
"Thanks, Romulus. I owe you."
"You owe me nothing, Tristan, and you must be aware, that I won't force her to come back - I'll help her understand, but I won't make her do what she doesn't want."
"I just need to know she's okay..." Tristan muttered.
"I understand; I'll leave as soon as I can."
"Thanks." Tristan muttered again and ended the scrying spell.
Sighing, Rom leaned away from the washbin he was hovering over. What are you thinking, Tenel Ka? He thought again as he went to inform his men of what was going on.
Two week later:
Surda. This was where he had tracked her to. It wasn't easy; she didn't make it so. But using his old contacts and skills, he managed to locate her. Rumored had it that she was a bounty hunter, which surprised him a bit, but at the same time it did not. He sighed. He had been trying to understand her behavior for two weeks now, and the only conclusion was that she was confused. He only hoped he could find her and help her understand or answer the questions she had; if any. He also felt guilty for leaving her and wondered the standard what ifs possibilities had he stayed.
Locating an inn of this particular town, Romulus entered, hoping to gain more information to her whereabouts. As he entered, he couldn't help the affectionate smile to crease his lips as he spotted her, sitting with her back against him. He slowly and quietly made his way next to her, as not to startle her too badly. He wondered if she would be amused as he was, for what he was about to do. He gingerly took the seat beside her.
"You're a hard woman to find; you certaintly didn't make it easy for me." Rom smiled as he turned to face her.
OOC: I think I'll leave Tyrant out of the mix...my brain is having trouble channeling him at the moment...blah.
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Post by Tismri on Aug 28, 2012 22:52:35 GMT -5
She continued to stare at the wall, even when someone came up and sat beside her. She gave a casual glance at him, wondering if he wanted to hire her for something in particular. Her heart caught when she recognized Rom. His smile was so warm and friendly, a part of her wanted to jump into his arms. But she resisted the urge. The rest of her was furious. How had he tracked her down? She had done everything she could to hide her identity from everyone; it hadn't been that hard. She just made up her entire life story. Mentally, she cursed Tristan for maiming her with such an identifiable characteristic. She was sure that was the main cause of all this. If that was what even happened; she didn't trust anything she had been told.
She tore her gaze away from Rom and resumed staring at the wall. Her fingers never changed their even-paced drumming.
"There was a reason for that," she told him, her teeth clenched. She was getting so frustrated with everything. What littled past she had refused to stop haunting her. "What do you want, Romulus?" she asked.
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Post by Max452 on Aug 28, 2012 23:13:13 GMT -5
Romulus' eyebrows knit together in a mixture of hurt and confusion. Her tone was angry. Really angry. His smile slowly faded away and he distracted himself from the Goddess in front of him to the table, his fingers just picking at a loose splinter. What had caused her to be filled with this emotion? "I...we were worried when you disappeared." Rom's finger continued to pluck, along side Tenel Ka's cold drumming. "Why did you leave, Tenel Ka?" He turned the side of his face toward her. Even with the cold demeanor she held, the close proximity of their bodies was making Rom's heart race. Every ounce of him wanted to turn and embrace her, to comfort her in this confusing time, but a part of him, the much larger part, refrained out of fear of rejection. It was ironic to the Ranger as he contemplated his emotions. He was willing to die for Tenel Ka, but at the concept of admitting his feelings, the Ranger was a coward; fear of rejection and unworthiness at the depth of his insecurities. Despite all this, he still attempted to comfort her in the best way, short of the real intimacy he desired. "You can always speak to me, Tenel Ka; you are not alone." He stopped playing with the small piece of wood and attempted to reach out and touch her hand, a sign of comfort and friendship.
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Post by Tismri on Aug 28, 2012 23:33:10 GMT -5
She listened silently as Rom explained. Her fingers paused on the table when he called her Tenel Ka the first time. She had rejected that name completely. She had decided that no matter what, she would not be that woman. She hated everything that name stood for. At his question, her eyes rolled toward him in a stormy glare. She thought it would be obvious why she left. When he touched her, in addition to using that cursed name again, she ripped her hand away from him, very nearly wanting to slap him across the face.
"Do you know what it's like, realizing that you've been lied to?" she asked. "Especially when you trusted them because you yourself know absolutely nothing. It's like everything you know has been shattered like glass, and crumbled to dust. Nothing remains. I was even emptier than when I first woke up. What else are they keeping from me? Are you keeping from me? But I don't care anymore. I just don't, because I'm not that person you said I was. I'm not Tenel Ka, I'm not a queen, I'm not a Rider. I refuse to be what you want me to be, to be a puppet. I go my own way and live my life however I want."
That said, she shoved her chair back from the table and turned to march out the door. She hoped Rom would just go away now, leave her to live her life in peace. Not chase her like the dragon did. All she wanted was a fresh start.
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Post by Max452 on Aug 28, 2012 23:58:16 GMT -5
Romulus was taken aback at Tenel Ka's reaction; his heart clenched in pain when she rejected his hand. There. There was the anger...the hate that she bore. He could see it clearly as she flinched at the name. He could hear it in her voice as she expressed her rage. This was a side of Tenel Ka that had been built up in anger, confusion, and hurt since he left. He realized, though she may not, that this was part of her personality, or at least what he had learned and observed from her during their many talks and adventures. He concluded that this was her anger speaking; her will to be not what others expected her to be fuelling it to the extreme. What had happened? What was she referring to that had pushed her toward this direction? He could not see Tristan, Teodora, or Caedus lying to her. He felt that clench in his heart again. He should not have left her. He would not leave her.
Getting up quickly, the young Ranger hurried after her. "Wait!" He pleaded after her, making sure he used not the name he knew her for, "I understand that your frustrated and angry, just talk with me, please, I...I would never lie to you and I know that Tristan wouldn't do that either, not intentionally; he can be thick headed, but he and the others would never desire to hurt you." He uttered out to her as he followed her out of the inn. "You're not a puppet! You're...you're just you. I...I only ever thought of you as you." He admitted to her. It was true for the Ranger, Tenel Ka's titles were indeed rare, intimidating even, but regardless of all that, he had come to love the person behind them all; if only she could see what he saw. "Please...don't leave...just, talk to me. Talk to me; I only wish for your happiness." He gestured back toward the inn. "Let's just go inside and talk about this, please? I don't want you to be angry." He tried to reason with her. "You can ask me anything and I will tell you; all of it. You know this. If I ever gave the impression of trying to make you into something you disliked, then I am sorry, it was never my intention, please." He gestured again with his hand toward the inn. "Please." Stay with me, Tenel Ka. His mind and heart cried out within him.
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Post by Tismri on Aug 29, 2012 0:23:01 GMT -5
She paused outside the door when she heard Rom rush after her, begging her to wait. She felt her hand tighten slightly as he pleaded, but his cries fell on deaf ears. He, like all the others, had kept the Emeralds secret from her. As if they never wanted her to remember. If that was all, then so be it. She would not remember. But she refused to be manipulated by any of them. Not even by Rom. Even as he spoke, she started walking away again. His final "please" made her once again come to a halt.
"Romulus," she said softly. "I am giving you one chance to walk away. Leave me, and never look for me again." Her voice was like ice as her hand moved to a dagger she had concealed within a pocket on her outfit.
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Post by Max452 on Aug 29, 2012 0:39:24 GMT -5
Rom's jaw clenched, but not in anger, but in pain. He could not bear to see Tenel Ka like this. He missed her; the one that would laugh and joke with him. The woman that was filled with love and kindness. He knew this was just another side of her and he had the overwhelming feeling of wanting to ease her pain, to take her away. His mind reflected on a dream he had the other night, but it was cast aside at the sound of her low, but cold voice. Nothing escaped the Ranger and it pained him that he was gifted with his talents; to hear and see every detail of her anger and hate. This was it. He had to decide now. He would not leave her again. He would not let her endure this alone. He couldn't deny his heart anymore. "I can't." Romulus' words were far more personal than he let on. "Please, just come back inside so we can talk; I'll answer your questions and more." He moved into toward her, his hand outstretched to gently turn her around. His fingers graced her shoulder as motioned to turn her toward him.
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Post by Tismri on Aug 29, 2012 0:48:42 GMT -5
Her spine stiffened when he refused to leave. Something in his voice reached into her very core, and for a moment she was blinded by tears. But the moment faded once she felt his hand on her shoulder, turning her. The tears were replaced by an unquenchable fury. As she faced him, she drew her blade in a swift motion and had the cold, hard edge against his throat.
"I wasn't asking anything," she told him, in a whisper as she slid the blade across. She glared at him. "You're just like that dragon was. I hated having to kill him, too..."
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Post by Max452 on Aug 29, 2012 1:12:25 GMT -5
Romulus eyes were filled with shock as he felt the cold steel against his throat. It would only take one second, one second for him to move back and incapcitate her with a spell or his sword. But the thought of harming her was out of the question. He could see the anger in her eyes clearly, along with something else, something buried deep as he gazed into her watery stormy eyes. There...there she was...it was small, but she was there. He took too long to debate on what to do and soon felt the cold steel slide against his throat. His eyes went wide, causing him to snap out of his frozen state. He staggered backward, feeling the blood oozing freely. He only had seconds to live. Suddenly, his mind reeled back to the dream he had reflected upon moments ago.
She was smiling with him as he sat with her. They were having a picnic of some sort, and it appeared that they were in Ismalia, for he vaguely recalled the crystal palace that Tenel Ka had once described. His head was in her lap and she was playing with his grey hair, love filled in eyes. He had finished telling her a joke of some sort and she was laughing now. She was happy. They were happy. She leaned in to kiss his forehead and looked up soon after at the sound of a voice. "Mommy! Daddy! Look what we found!" A small boy and girl came racing toward them, tackling Romulus, desiring to show him and Tenel Ka their treasure. The girl had beautiful hair, like her mother, but held his amber eyes, whilst the boy was also blessed with his mother's hair and grey eyes. They were all laughing now as Romulus had grabbed them and pinned all of them down (including Tenel Ka) tickling them all. They were happy.
Within seconds the visage passed before Romulus' eyes. A small tear managed to escape Rom's eye as his vision began to darken, his body becoming cold and slack as he sensed, rather than felt his body kneel to the ground. The dream wasn't real. It seemed that they were never destined to have such happiness. He gazed up at Tenel Ka, his vision now gone, but he could still sense her there. I'm sorry. He forced his mind to speak out to her as his voice was long gone now. Using all the energy he possessed, he left Tenel Ka his final blessing, Sé mor'ranr un ilian ono finna, iet Hjarta. May you find peace and happiness, my Heart. With those final words, the Ranger delved into the darkness and toward the void; his body tumbled to the ground, the pool of blood the only warmth he would ever feel.
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Post by Tismri on Aug 30, 2012 1:32:01 GMT -5
She couldn't help but hold his dying gaze. The shock and sorrow in his expression drove into the very core of her being. The words "I'm sorry" echoed through her mind, along with a few words she didn't recognize. She took a step back, his image boring conviction into her. Then she turned and fled, unable to take any of it in anymore. She fled from this remnent of her past and attempted to set out and recreate her future.
~~~~~
Allecia watched the misplaced queen carefully for a long time. The way the woman was handling her loss was even better than she had expected. Killing two individuals so close to her was icing on the cake. And the fact that she had fled all who might have protected her made it eacher to approach now. She smiled slightly as she leisurely made her way to the miserable woman.
She watched the strange woman approaching her. Her posture suggested recognition, but not familiarity. As if she knew about her, but there was nothing personal between them.
"Can I help you?" she asked mildly, as civil as could be.
"Yes, I would like some help. You are the one known as Myst, right?" Allecia had much practice keeping the devious expression off her face.
"I am," she replied cautiously. She didn't think she was known well enough by now to hold such recognition from people.
"I was wondering if you might help me with something...You see, something valuable was stolen from me, and I can't go get it myself. I think it was stolen by a member of the Varden who is a thief. They stashed it somewhere near the encampment."
"The Varden..." she asked quietly. This was an unpleasant turn of events. She wanted to be as far away from those people as possible. But a job was a job, and this woman seemed desperate. "What was stolen?"
"A small chest filled with all the personal belongings of my deceased friend," Allecia explained. "She was very dear to me, and to lose those things would be the most terrible occurance for me. Please. I have no one else to turn to."
She contemplated for a long moment. Finally, slowly, she said, "I accept. I'll get it back for you." With that, she set out toward the Varden camp.
Allecia smiled as the emptiness before her walked away, about to be filled to overflowing. The chest was in an almost obvious spot, where she was sure to find it. It was magical, and she had added a few of her own enchantments to it. In it, she had placed all of Tenel Ka's identity, every memory she had ever possessed when it was given to her. Allecia had enchanted it to make certain that once she saw it, the woman would be unable to stop herself from opening it.
~~~~~
She kicked at a fresh patch of dirt under a tree. It seemed the thief was very confidant to have placed it in such an obvious hiding place. But this was the only place it could be.
Cautiously, she looked over her shoulder. She was so uncomfortably close to the Ismalian camp, she was sure she was going to be spotted. Then she began digging into the dirt with her hands, scooping it and pushing it aside. The fresh-dug earth was soft and easy, and within moments she had uncovered the ornate chest. It was very small, like a jewery box, made of solid gold and set with precious stones. She felt an irresistable urge to open the box. What was so valuable that could fit in such a tiny container. She unlatched it, hesitated for a short moment, then flipped the lid.
Stars flooded her vision, and her head felt as if it had been hammered. Memories one and all shoved their way into her mind, each one vying for her attention. Flashes came to her in no particular order, but after a minute they started to order themselves.
"No..." she whispered to herself. Every moment with Caedus since he hatched came to her. All the love and laughter, the sense of total conjoining with him, her heart and mind one with his.
But now it was gone. She remembered him trying to get her to come with him. She heard her stout refusal. Her hand had reached for an Emerald, and in an instant, the most enormous bolt of lightning struck him. She felt her own heart rip itself apart at the memory. A scream registered in her hearing; it took her a second in the flood of terrors to realize that it was her own voice.
No... she thought. Every second spent with Romulus seemed to painstakingly present itself to her mind. With others surrounding them or in privacy. She loved him; loved him more than she could have realized before now.
But then the sight of herself slitting his throat mercilessly came back to her. His final words, spoken straight into her mind, echoed, understanding reaching her now. May you find peace and happiness, my Heart. Impossible! There was no such thing if he was gone! He couldn't be gone!
"CAEDUS! ROMULUS! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Caedus...Rom...Rom...Caedus...dead...dead...dead...all dead...Rom...Caedus...Caedus...dead...Rom...dead...blood...death..." She heard herself babbling incoheriently, felt herself curl into a tiny ball. She wished with all her might that she would die. The two that mattered most to her, dead. By her own hand. "I killed them. Shards. Dead. Nothing. Darkness. Dead. Oh, gods! They're deAD! THEY'RE DEAD AND I KILLED THEM! I KIlled them. Caedus. Rom. Darkness. Alone. All alone..."
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Post by Max452 on Aug 30, 2012 1:56:35 GMT -5
Trinity was soaring over the Ismalian and Varden camp when she heard a piercing scream that echoed throughout the encampment. Tristan, something is wrong. The young dragon informed her Rider, feeling an uneasy feeling for over a month now. Caedus and his Rider were still missing. They had still not found both of them and it had caused a great worry over her and Tristan; the latter unable to sleep properly as he tried every moment to locate his cousin. The uneasiness of not hearing from Romulus also worried the two; he was due to scry any day now...
Trinity continued to fly toward the scream, following a small group that had also gone to investigate. The golden dragon spotted a tree and soon, a person curled up in a ball. It didn't take long for her to realize who it was. Tenel Ka!
Tristan! Tenel Ka has returned! She does not look well! Hurry! Trinity urged and quickly swooped down beside the mourning Queen, protecting her from the small group that had soon arrived. She let out a protective snarl, threatening anyone that approached closer. The group drew back, not wanting to contend with a dragon. They stood a good way off and soon, Trinity spotted Tristan running toward them, eyes filled with worry and relief.
Something is wrong... She informed him as she whined at Tenel Ka's distrust. She quickly flinched at the words that the Queen uttered.Caedus....dead? Half-elf dead? That wasn't possible! Who had done so! What had happened?!
Tristan finally made it to Trinity and Tenel Ka's side. He had heard and processed Trinity's thoughts as well as the scene before him. "Oh, cousin..." He whispered to her as she continued to speak like a mad woman. "It's okay; you aren't alone. We're here." He bent down and gathered her in his arms, intending to carry her back to her tent, with Trinity as her guard. "It'll be okay...shhhh..." He tried to comfort his Cousin as he carefully, but hurridly went to the Queen Mother's tent. Trinity, inform Teodora! She'll want to know. Tristan told his dragon as he pushed the tent flap aside, ignoring the glances from the soldiers. He gently placed Tenel Ka onto her bed and knelt beside her protectively. "Tenel Ka...what happened? It's okay, you're safe now..." He tried again to comfort her and to stop her ramblings so he could make sense of them. Where Caedus and Romulus really dead? And was Tenel Ka really responsible? Not possible....
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Post by Tismri on Aug 30, 2012 2:18:33 GMT -5
Tenel Ka was only slightly aware of the activity around her. For the most part, all she could process was her maddening grief. Rom's face and Caedus' self would not leave her mind. The two that she would sacrifice all for, die for, were gone. Dead. Killed by her. Her ramblings did not stop even as Tristan carried her.
"They're dead. I killed them. Oh, gods, just let me die! Strike me down right now...I just want to see them. See them again. What have I done? Shards, what have I done?"
She had no idea how long she remained in that state. Eventually the rambling stopped, replaced by a death-like stillness as she lay on the bed. She felt her body demanding care to keep sustaining itself. But she couldn't move. She just stared, unblinking at the roof of the tent. Whenever she was asked anything, she only replied in a soft whisper, "I killed them. Let me die."
Finally, she managed to wrestle herself back to rational thought. She knew she had no right to remain in that miserable, selfish state. Her people needed her, at least long enough for her to declare a successor, and then she could jump off the tallest mountain or drown herself in the deepest ocean, or walk into a bonfire. Whatever she could do to rejoin her lost loved ones.
Her first action was blinking. Her eyes felt frozen, crusted over, and it took several blinks before they would even move again. Then she turned her head over.
"T--" her mouth was so dry. "Tristan?"
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Post by Max452 on Aug 30, 2012 14:21:09 GMT -5
Three days. That was how long Tristan sat by his cousin's side as she experience her grief. If it was any other person, Tristan would have deemed them mad, but not Tenel Ka. His cousin would not do things without some sort of legitimate cause; Caedus and Romulus were gone. As she struggled with her grief, Tristan did his best to take care of her body as her mind was elsewhere. Sadness and helplessness were now acquainted feelings for the young Prince as he tried to ease her pain any possible way. He would tried to feed her - to no avail. He would tried to comfort her - but it was all deaf to her mourning heart. So he just sat with her, never leaving her side once, for fear that she might do something rash in her crazed state.
It was upon the third day, that Tristan's hopes rose when he heard her voice call out to him. Rising quickly from his chair, he rushed to her side. He was worn out and tired, but he felt rejuvenated at the prospect of Tenel Ka speaking. "I'm here, Tenel Ka." He whispered as he brought some water over with him; she had not eaten or drank in days.
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Post by Tismri on Aug 31, 2012 0:16:47 GMT -5
Tenel Ka eyed the water, feeling her mouth like it was full of sand. Her body cried out for it, but she was repulsed. Drinking it would make her live longer. That was the last thing she wanted now. Still, she needed it to at least be able to speak. Sip by tiny sip, she swallowed. She only drank enough that her mouth was no longer so dry. Then she leaned back again weakly. She felt so frail, as if one wrong move might shatter her into a million pieces. Her eyes drifted to meet Tristan's again, reflecting the absolute sorrow and pain she was experiencing right now.
"Cousin," she said softly, with all seriousness. "Who would make a good queen for our people?" She could almost predict his reaction. She was sure that in some form or another--whether by humor or shock or contemplation, he would imply that she was perfect for the role. And he would understand why she was asking, if not immediately, then very soon after. But there was no way he could understand what she felt right now. It was maddening enough that both Caedus and Rom were gone. But the fact that she had killed them both herself, with hardly a batted eye, made her so utterly disgusted with herself that she refused to live an instant longer than she needed.
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