The Cycle Flows

[Max452]

OOC: *Sniffle* Poor TK. Evil half laughs with glee. *SMACK!* owwwwwwwww

Romulus listened patiently as Tenel Ka began to explain the sadness that he had sensed. He watched her interest as she explained about the retrieval of her memories. Yes, he remembered the loss of her memories...his arguments with Tristan and the best approach, and he remembered leaving because he thought he was of no use, using the excuse of stopping his Brother as his main reason. She glanced away from him and he could tell the remorse within her eyes, even at that brief glance. He gently wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. He stayed silent, but he allowed his presence to soothe her as he waited for her to tell him. What had happened? What made her mourn? He didn't understand it, but he knew that it was causing Tenel Ka pain.

When she turned back to him, eyes glazed with tears, he instantly knew that this caused Tenel Ka excruticating pain. He held her tighter, never wanting to let her go. If it caused her more pain to relive what ever happened, Rom was tempted to stop her from revealing her burden, but in his heart he knew she needed to release it. At the mention of showing him what happened, Rom took courage and nodded to her. "Show me, my heart." He whispered to her, opening his mind to her so they could connect mentally.

A torrent of emotion struck Romulus as he began to relive Tenel Ka's burden with her. It was a strange feeling; his viewpoints were scattered. For a moment he felt like himself, than at another he was Tenel Ka, sharing in her frustrations, anger, and ultimately sadness. He watched in divided viewpoints as his wife burned the letter he had sent her, then jumping to her fleeing from Tristan and Teodora. He felt a burning anger for being pushed to being someone he didn't know. Why did they bother him/her so? Why? Why did they lie to me? Rom's thoughts collided with Tenel Ka's, but at some point, it divided once again to his own, and he watched in slow horror at the murder of Caedus. Oh my Heart..l Rom was able to coherently echo out to her. So this was what had caused her grief...but...soon the visons continued onward, surprising Romulus. He felt his body clasp tighter around Tenel Ka, wanting to comfort her in her grief.

The next memory surprised him, and again his viewpoint had collided with his wife's. He could feel every emotion that she bore and Rom found it eerily strange at his stared into his own eyes. It was hard for the half elf to concentrate, as the memories would restart and play back to that moment that seemed to build up to something terrible. He could sense it...the dread that was laid in his lover's mind. And then it happened. Rom stared as he felt himself slide the dagger across his throat...or the other Rom's throat. It was confusing and jagged, but Rom understand the gist of what had happened. His confusion instantly vanished as his mind switched to his own as he felt Tenel Ka's maddening anguish. He felt his mind being pulled too and fro and he knew he had to pull out or he would lose himself. Retreating back into the present, Rom's thoughts were scattered...and then within a few seconds his mind was able to process what had happend. Tenel Ka had killed him and Caedus. But...he was here. He was alive. His ears picked up sound, having been deafened by the mind connection. He barely processed the tears that were in his eyes, due to the emotional connection they had just shared.

"Oh, Tenel Ka...Shhh...I am here...I'm here." Rom's loving instinct for Tenel Ka drove all confusion and sorrow from him. "It's all right, my love. I'm right here." He held her close and began to rock her back and forth, one arm soothing her back as the other brought her hand up to his heart, proof that he was alive. Still feeling her trembling, Romulus prodded into her mind, sharing with her a peaceful memory, one that he knew that that meant a great deal to both of them; another proof to her that this was indeed real. That he was real. Don't you forget me... His heart cried out, worried that if she furthered herself in this state that her memories would become too jumbled and he...would be forgotten by her. He couldn't bear that again. He presented her the cherish memory, half surprising himself that he had regained clarity and composure after seeing what he had just seen.

Flashback

"Tenel Ka, I love you." Romulus' voice shattered the silence of the night as they laid on a blanket together. They were outside, on the rooftops of the palace. They had been star gazing; Tenel Ka teaching him the Ismalian names of the constellations, whilst he held her close to him. He adjusted his head for a moment, a nervous jolt in his stomach, despite knowing the answer to his question already, gathering a better look at the woman lying on his chest. He sat himself up soon after, bringing her along with him so that he could look at her properly. "This may not be the best sweeping off your feet moment, but, this has been one of the best days that I have ever had." He placed his hand into his pocket, while the other reached out to hold her hand. "I...I never imagined that you could ever return my love, Tenel Ka. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Its quite funny really, that the incident with Sidhion would bring you to my attention. I...I honestly don't know if I should hate him or be grateful to him...for he has brought the light into my world. Tenel Ka, I, I always thought I was meant to be alone...until I met you. I love you with all my heart," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver ring, with a diamond studded upon it. "and if you let me, I will cherish you, take care of you, and love you all my life and beyond. Tenel Ka, Queen of my Heart, will you marry me?"

All nervousness disappeared as he uttered those words, knowing that ever one was true. No words could adequently describe the gleeful and happy emotion he felt when she said yes, when he had placed the ring on her finger. She was his, and he was her. Completeness. That was what he had felt and he knew it was real.

End flashback

"I love you Tenel Ka....shhhh, I'm still here, nothing can harm you." He whispered to her, hoping that that memory would help her. "Forget this nightmare...it does not exist." He held her tightly still, still holding her hand against his heart, praying that his love can heal her.

[Tismri]

Rom's hurt and sorrowful expression would not leave her mind, the sight of his blood spilling and the memory of how utterly remorseless she felt upon doing the deed. That was the worst part: knowing that she had done it purposefully and without regret at the time. She couldn't believe herself...if that was who she was without her past to build upon, what did that say about her as a human being?
Some clarity and sense returned to her as she felt Rom's comforting arms, his heart beating steadily under her hand. She had saved him. She had changed the past. He was alive and well, and they were living happily together. Still, the trauma of the memory left her blinded and all she could think of was those days he had been dead, by her hand.
Then she felt his comforting mind, as he reminded her of that night. The whole brilliant day had gone by perfectly, and they ended it under the stars, just the two of them. She still recalled the diamond ring he gave her, valuable not because of the silver and gem, but because it was his gift to her, connected to that all-too-important question. Of course she had accepted. It was impossible for her to do otherwise.
Focusing on that memory, and the years since then, she slowly rebuilt the wall in her mind, blocking out the memory of the atrocity she had commited.
"I'm sorry," she said in a whisper. Tears streamed down her face, but she refused to wail and draw attention to them. Only in her mind was her true anguish exposed, and only Rom knew the level of her pain at the memory. They remained that way for a half an hour or longer, she couldn't really tell, as she slowly repaired her mind, his comforting strength keeping her in the truth.
Once she was finally lucid again, aware of her true surroundings, she took another deep breath. In a shaky voice, she told him, "I found my memories not long after that, and I realized...what...happened." Another breath, another block to the mental wall. "With Tristan and Teodora's help, I found the rest of the Emeralds, and I used them to change what happened. I saved both you and Caedus. I ended up being the only one who could remember what happened." She sighed and her eyes met his again.
"I love you so much," she told him. "Life without you just wasn't worth living. I'm so unworthy to be loved by one such as you."

[Max452]

"Shh, I know you're sorry, I know." He held her close, still rubbing her back in a soothing motions as she quietly sobbed and regained herself. Romulus knew that even though his death no longer existed, it did to Tenel Ka. She had changed the past and was now haunted with the memories and feelings she possessed then. He had a pretty good guess that his and Caedus' deaths weren't the only things haunting her. He had felt her emotions. All of them. He understood why she reacted they way she did. They were strangers to her. With her memory gone, she wouldn't know or care and acted only in the most sensible position with all her anger welled up inside. He held her tighter.

He felt her move then, and listened quietly as she explained what had happened next. He couldn't help a smile. She changed fate because she loved him. If that was not true love, then Rom would be lost. He frowned a bit at her last words. "Do not say that, Tenel Ka. It is I who am unworthy. You sacrificed yourself...your sanity for me...you give yourself little credit; I will never forget what you've shown me. I know your heart, and I love you the more for it." He kissed her deeply, placing all his love and affection into the kiss. He parted for breath and caressed her back once more. "Think no more of those haunting memories, Tenel Ka. I know it troubles you because of the actions and emotions you felt; I understand them. With your memory gone, we were just strangers to you. You only acted in the best situation you could. Do not linger on it. I know you fear that dark part of yourself; we all have dark sides. what matters is how we choose to act on the lighter side, and you have just done that. You realized your mistakes and you did your best to rectify it, as I know you always will." He kissed her forehead. "Tenel Ka, my love, you must forgive yourself so that you cannot be burdened by them." He gently whispered to her. "I love you; I cannot bear to see you in pain."

[Tismri]

Romulus' words were so comforting, brought her such a measure of peace, that Tenel Ka found herself wondering why she had been afraid all this time to tell him the truth. Maybe she'd been afraid that he would be angry with her, or wouldn't trust her. She couldn't bear the thought that he might leave her over something that no longer existed for anyone except her. She should have known all along that he would never do such a thing.
"Thank you, my heart," she told him, holding herself close to him. She poured all her love and devotion into the kiss she gave him, expressing much more than mere words could ever say. "I will do what I can to forgive myself, knowing that you have been able to forgive me for doing such a terrible thing." She met his eyes, a smile starting to form on her lips. "I do not know what I would ever have done should you have not decided to come visit me here in Freia. I think I should have died while waiting. You became my entire world." She laughed lightly and shook her head. "I still find myself unable to believe that you truly thought I planned to marry one of those suitors."

[Max452]

Romulus let out a contented sigh as Tenel Ka began to feel more at ease; more herself. "I will always be here for you, Tenel Ka. I thought I told you that already? No matter where we are, I will always be thinking of you, and my heart will always be with you." He whispered to her as she drew closer to him. He couldn't help smiling with her as she gazed up at him. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come." He caressed her cheek with a finger. He rolled his eyes at the mention of her once suitors. "I was blind, I'll admit to that. I never thought you would ever want me...not like I wanted you. You are a Queen, after all, and I, well, I was a commoner, once a slave as well. I did not think that I would ever be in your circle. When I had decided to come, I figured it was better to follow my heart and know for sure if you felt anything for me, but when I saw those suitors, well, I assumed you were looking for a husband and I was far from your mind." He explained to her. "However," Rom's lips curled into a devious smile, "I was in for a pleasant surprise when I came...now tell me, my love, did you plan how the evening would go once you had your guards place me in your chambers?" He raised a playful eyebrow, inwardly glad that she was back to herself again.

[Tismri]

"I am glad you did decide to come," she told him. "Else I would have returned to Alagaesia for the sole purpose of finding you again. I cannot deny that you have been my life, ever since...ever since you fought back against Sidhion and refused to kill me. I believed then that I was about to die, that he would use your hand to do it. I owed you my life and gave you my heart as well." She smiled at him, her eyes honest and mischievious.
"Well, I could not allow the idiot guards to take you away to prison, now could I? Although had I known you would be so dense at the time, perhaps I would have let them taken you away rather than let you catch sight of those other men attempting to win my hand." She gave him an overly innocent expression. "I hope you do not believe I planned to have you spend the entire night with me. Why would I ever had done such a thing..." Her hand moved to his shoulder and slid all the way up into his hair as she pulled her face closer to his, their lips centimeters apart.
"I think I shall retire early tonight...and there is still the matter of your, ah...punishment, that we need to discuss," she whispered to him.

[Max452]

Romulus let out a low chuckle as his wife snaked her hand around his neck, then his head, pulling him close to her. He felt his breath hitch; he would never get use to the feelings that she created within him and he didn't want to. "I was hoping that we weren't going to discuss anything..." His breathing growing heavier. "And for your information, my dear Queen, I much preferred that I had seen those suitors - it made it that much more fun to target them when I had kicked them out. It was a pity you did not give your farewells to them." He told her, his voice far from sympathetic when regarding the suitors. "Mmm, I think i sense Dastan looking over Teza Mae and Jason..why don't we continue this..uh, discussion in our bedroom, my heart?" Rom suggested, feeling his self control wavering little by little. "And, uh, my I mention that I do plan I staying the entire night with you." His voice slightly mocking, but playful. The wild streak appeared in his eyes; only visible for Tenel Ka and Rom quickly hoisted Tenel Ka in his arms, one arm behind her back, the other under her knees as he planned to carry her to their chambers.

***
Dastan wanted to groan. Romulus had just sent him the message that the Queen was retiring for the night...leaving him and the wet nurses to watch over the Prince and Princess. Not that he minded it, his annoyance was more toward Rom. He had high suspicions on why the Queen Mother wanted to retire early tonight. He glanced back at the two children. "Princess Teza Mae and Prince Jason, would you like to hear a story before you go to bed?" Dastan asked, leaving no room for discussion on the topic that they were going to bed after the story.

[Trinn]

At the mention of a story, Jason sat straight up, eyes wide with interest. "Yes!" He nearly squealed. "One about dragons!" He continued on. Jason hoped his sister wouldn't argue the point. She always got what she wanted!

[Tismri]

A smile crept across Tenel Ka's face as she saw the wild look in his eyes, setting her heart racing. She wrapped her arm around him while he carried her to their chambers.
"I suppose I must bid farewell to this dress," she said. All this time and her husband still lacked the patience to remove her clothes in a non-damaging fashion. Still, sometimes she lacked that patience as well.
Her expression grew more serious for a moment, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I could never live without you," she told him. "I love you, Romulus."
~~~~~
Teza Mae sat playing with her brother when Dastan announced that he would tell them a story before sending them to bed. At the same time Jason asked for one about dragons, she blurted out, "I want a story about Mama and Daddy!" She was sure she hadn't heard them all by now. There was so much to their parents' lives that she was sure she wouldn't stop learning about them for years.

[Max452]

Romulus chuckled at the mention of her dress, her breath tickling his neck. "Perhaps if you stop wearing the most appealing ones, we wouldn't have this problem..." He said slyly, knowing perfectly well that that wouldn't even solve the problem; she was far too tempting. "Nor I, without you, Tenel Ka." He whispered with all his love. "I love you too." He tenderly pecked her forehead as the two wandered off. His mind flashed back to her memories, of one specific spell that he had no recollection of uttering, but was thankful was made. "May you find peace and happiness, my Heart." He whispered to her, reciting it in the ancient language. "I think that's been fullfilled or am I being too confident?" He teased her as they reached their chambers. Rom skillfuly opened the door and lost himself in the night with her embrace.

***
Dastan glanced between Jason and Teza Mae. They both shouted out a response. "Ah." He pondered. "Why not both dragons and about your parents?" He asked both of them, and then realized he really didn't know one about Tenel Ka and Romulus together....he was either with the Empire then or imprisioned. "Hmmm...." He tapped his chin playfully. He might not know one, but he knew someone who did. His features brightened. "Would it please you two if our dear Ealvale came and sang one to you?" He asked them.